Lost Fire
by iyris
Summary: Fuji tried his best to keep away from him but failed.Fuji tried his best to protect his smiles but failed.Fuji tried to keep the fire in Ryoma's eyes but again failed. Now, Fuji rekindled the fire once more only to be the reason for it to be forever gone.


**IMPORTANT A/N: **If you're a reader of HSJ fanfictions in livejournal, you might have come across this story before. This story is one of my favorites among the few fanfictions I have written there. I really love the Thrill pair and wanted to try this story on them. I also want to say that though the two are very similar, there were changes made to suit the real personality of the characters in this POT ff. The HSJ ff entitled Broken Note is also mine so using its storyline in this ff is not plagiarizing, is it? I just wanted to make it clear before people, who have read that story and this one, started to get wrong assumptions. Also, I wanted to make it clear that the story I have written in LJ is not under the name of iyris but of another username.

**Title**: Lost Fire

**Author**: iyris/ai

**Rating**: PG15

**Genre**: Romance, tragedy

**Pairing/s**: Fuji Syuusuke/Echizen Ryoma, Atobe Keigo/Echizen Ryoma, Yukimura Seichii/Kirihara Akaya

**Summary**: Fuji tried his best to keep away from him but failed. Fuji tried his best to protect his smiles but failed. Now, Fuji tried to keep the fire in Echizen's eyes but again failed because Fuji was like the water. He can never go well with fire so he became the reason of the lost fire.

**Disclaimer**: POT is not mine and also several plot lines and idea are from Daisy.

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><p><strong>Lost Fire<strong>

_I could have evaded it. I could have saved myself. I am stronger than you are, I could have fought back. But I did not. I wonder why._

_ When the knife passed through my flesh, the first thoughts I had were 'Is it finally my time?' and 'Would I go in Heaven or in Hell?'. Then, I thought of the life I lived. The rubbish life I had, not until I met you. So, what do you think is the last thing in my mind before I totally went out? _

_You._

* * *

><p>A paper fell on the floor after Ryoma opened his locker. He bent down and picked it up. A smile crept on his face, like usual, as he read the words in it.<p>

"Another letter, huh? What did it say this time?" Akaya asked as he closed his own locker.

_It has been a month since I started sending him these short letters and notes. I was not sure at first but I can't take the emptiness in his eyes after his parents died so I tried to give a little comfort by making him know that someone is just there for him._

**~How's your day?**

**You look kinda sad, who made you feel like that?**

**Just tell me.~**

_I slipped my first letter in his locker and he found it before the class started. The next day, when I was about to put my second letter, I noticed a paper sticking a part of it out of his locker. I pulled it out and found that it was a reply to my letter. I was happy, of course._

"Sweet, I'd say," Akaya commented while they were walking toward their room. "But I think it would be sweeter if he would finally show himself in front of you."

Ryoma nodded silently at his friend. Though there was no smile, there was no sadness either. Instead, his eyes were on fire again, just like before everything was taken away from him. That was enough to say that he was alive again.

_Show myself? I can't. I don't have the guts to reveal myself so boldly in front of him and say that I'm his note sender. I'm not just a student you see, I'm more than that. I can put his life in grave danger once my identity is revealed._

* * *

><p>The gunshot was silent as its bullet passed through the forehead of his next victim. Quickly, he shoved the gun inside his coat and cleanly made his way out of the place.<p>

_Yes, I'm not just an ordinary student._

"You're a second late," Seichii said while looking at his wristwatch after Syuusuke had hopped in into the car.

Syuusuke just smiled his usual smile.

"You killed a big shot this time, any comment?"

"Nothing, really. Status doesn't matter, he's still a human, someone who will eventually die." His eyes opening a bit, showing the deadly cerulean eyes.

Seichii smiled. "Seriously, what a heartless assassin."

_Assassin. Yes, I am one. So, don't you think that if I made a contact with the guy I love and then something unexpectedly, like me, being caught by some enemies would put Ryoma into some great danger? It would. That's why I kept my distance from him and decided to just watch from the shadows. There's no way I could risk his life, is there?_

* * *

><p><em>Exchanging letters with him, I'm already contented with it. Until when the next semester started, there were no many changes actually so there's nothing to worry about. Though Ryoma's room has gotten farther from me, Yukimura's room is still near him so he can do the watch for me.<em>

_But there's this guy…_

"Ryo-chan!" Kirihara waved his hand to Echizen as soon as he spotted his friend in the crowded hallway.

"Seriously, stop calling me that, Akaya!" Echizen frowned. Then he noticed that Kirihara was pulling someone behind him as he ran toward him.

"Ryo-chan, this is Keigo, by the way. He started studying here since last sem but I never had the chance to introduce him to you because our schedules never matched," Kirihara said. "Keigo-nii, this Echizen Ryoma. Ryo-chan, this is Atobe Keigo."

"Domo," Echizen bowed very little just to show some respect before turning on his heels. "Ja!"

"Rude, aren't we brat?" said Keigo.

Ryoma stopped on his tracks, a smirk playing across his face. Not many has the courage to provoke him. He looked back. "Not really, Monkey-king."

Keigo's eyes widened but also felt himself smiling at the cockiness of this boy in front of him.

…_who became so close to him…_

Keigo gathered his needed things from his locker and carefully closed it when he noticed another letter slipped inside Echizen's locker. He remembered that everytime Echizen reads the letter, a small genuine smile flashes in his face. He had always wanted to ask Echizen about the notes and letters but he never had the courage. What if it was a letter from Echizen's lover? He would be hurt, and he doesn't like that.

Coward he is, he walked past the locker. But later stepped back and took the letter out and read it.

**~ The weather today is good!**

**Hope your day today is just like the weather, too!**

**You look happy lately. Wish that it continues that way. Take care.~**

He sighed. _I should not have read it, after all,_ he thought and was about to return the note inside the locker when…

"Monkey-king?"

Keigo tilted his head and found Echizen standing not too far away from him.

"I knew it!" Echizen exclaimed and hugged Keigo. All the cockiness wiped away. "I knew it all along that it was you. Thank you very much for sending the letters when I'm down, for quietly staying by my side even if you don't show yourself, and for making me feel that someone is always there for me."

Keigo was surprised. It was a side of Ryoma he never imagined that exists. It was like a little Ryoma who just know how to be happy and open with his emotions, something that a normal Ryoma would never do. _And he shows this only to the real sender of the notes?_ Keigo painfully thought. He hesitated before wrapping his arms around Echizen. Then, he nodded.

"I was waiting for you…"

_Whoever you are, _Keigo thought as he addressed the real sender of the note, _I'm sorry but I'll take your place. I'll take care of Ryoma from now on._ He tightened the embrace.

_And when I knew it, they were already dating. I stopped sending him notes and letters._

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><p>The rain was pouring heavily one Sunday. Syuusuke just came from his 'job'. He brought his umbrella out of his bag and was about to go home when he saw Echizen waiting by the side of the road, sheltering himself under the roof outside a café, and looking at the dark sky worriedly. He halted walking and stared at the younger guy for awhile. He approached him.<p>

"You can share the umbrella with me," Syuusuke smiled.

Echizen cocked his head to the right, with a questioning look.

_Great! So he even forgot me_, Syuusuke painfully thought. He smiled. "I'm Fuji Syuusuke. I'm also a regular in the tennis club."

Echizen chuckled, something rare for a normal cocky Ryoma. "Of course I know that. Did you think that I forgot about you, Fuji-sempai?"

_Happy._ "Err, a bit? Because you gave me confused look."

"No, that was because it's rare for you to talk to me. It was actually rare for you to even approach me. I was just a bit surprised."

_That's because I can't get near you._ "Is that so? So, do you like to share the umbrella with me? You live nearby, right?"

"I won't really go home yet. I'll go to my boyfriend's house today."

_Hurt._ "Oh, I see. I can drop you off to his house, then."

"Keigo, this is Fuji Syuusuke. He is a regular to the tennis club too."

"Fuji-sempai, this Keigo. My boyfriend."

_Mad._

_Assassin as I am, killing the guy would be easy. I feel jealous, seriously. Everytime I see them holding hands, hugging, and the most painful, kissing, I feel the urge of ending Keigo's life. But Ryoma's genuine, innocent, and bright smiles that he only shows to Atobe stop me. It was only now that those smiles returned after his parents' death. And sadly for me, Keigo is the reason. Can I still kill him after that? I can't. I don't want Ryoma's smiles and laughter fades away, again. His happiness, after all, is more essential than mine._

* * *

><p>Loud knockings were heard and Syuusuke groggily opened the door. Without saying anything, Seichii walked passed him and entered his house.<p>

"Why are you here, Sei-chan?" Syuusuke asked.

"Syuu-chan! It's already two in the afternoon and you're still sleeping?" It is indeed unlikely for Syuusuke to be sleeping this late. He is a natural early-riser.

"Thank you for answering my question!"

"Ah, right. Boss wants to see you. New target, I guess."

"Can you take the job for me? I'm lazy to go out now."

"Nope. The client asked for the top assassin. Now, take a bath and we'll head immediately to Boss. I still have a date later with Aka-chan, I can't be late."

Syuusuke scratched the back of his head.

* * *

><p>"Long time no see, Syuusuke-kun~" Eiji sing-sang. "You've been out of the job for almost four months. Busy with something? Rather, someone?"<p>

"Who is it this time?" Syuusuke directly asked. Having a little trouble of putting back his mask.

Eiji passed him a black envelope. Carefully, he opened it and saw a familiar face inside. His eyebrows twitched a bit.

"He is heir to a big company. Currently, a student and I heard he's entering the same school with you. He has a half-brother, who is with him now, and his parents are both out of the country," Eiji stated.

Syuusuke was quiet when he entered the car.

"Who is it this time?" Seichii asked as he ignited the engine and accelerated the car.

Syuusuke just passed him the envelope. Seichii's eyebrows met, not seeing Syuusuke's heartless expression is a rare thing. He opened the envelope and suddenly pulled the break after seeing the picture.

"No way!" he hissed and looked at Syuusuke. "Atobe Keigo?"

Syuusuke sighed and tightly closed his eyes. For the first time, he hesitated about doing his job.

_Kill him? If he dies, I can finally have Ryoma for myself. But at the same time, his smiles would die, too, and he would hate me once he learns the truth. If I won't kill Keigo, I'd die. The others would kill me because I failed my job. But Keigo can be saved from my hands and Ryoma's smile would stay. Can I give my life in exchange of his smiles?_

* * *

><p>Keigo opened the door of the room and let Syuusuke enter.<p>

"Do you like coffee?" Keigo asked.

"Ah, no. I won't stay long."

"I thought so," Keigo sat on the sofa across Syuusuke. "Sit."

Syuusuke sat down.

"Here to kill Ore-sama?"

Syuusuke's eyes widened.

"Surprised? I have my own sources. I was already informed that one of the enemies of my father hired an assassin, that's why you'll see a lot of guards outside," Keigo smiled gently. "But Ore-sama never thought it would be you."

"How?"

"Black envelope," Keigo pointed the envelope sticking out of Syuusuke's jacket. "Pretty careless in hiding it, huh. But I'm amazed that you were able to keep your weapon well from the security."

"It's not a black envelope but a black handkerchief. You just saw the edge of it that's why you thought it was an envelope," Syuusuke snorted with a smile and pulled something black out of his jacket. "Funny, though, how I sell myself out for reacting that way."

Keigo stood up and neared a cabinet, he pulled a drawer and picked something up from it. With a swift move, he pointed a gun to Syuusuke—who was now standing beside him and was also pointing a gun to him.

"Shoot," Keigo said.

But Syuusuke smiled sadly and dropped his hand on his side. His eyes opened, showing the very sadness reflecting on them.

Keigo did the same. "You're not here to kill me," his voice amused.

"I can't."

"Why?"

Syuusuke looked away. "Ryoma. He'll be sad if you die."

Keigo's eyebrows furrowed together. Did he just hear it right? But the emotion in Fuji's eyes—longing and loving, sadness and pain. Everything in those blue orbs was true. But it couldn't be, could it? He just saw Ryoma and Fuji together once and just once when Fuji sent Ryoma to his house. He could never draw any suspicion out of that. He would never think that Fuji—who obviously drew a line between himself and Ryoma will actually have a romantic feeling for his boyfriend. "You…you love Ryoma?"

The brunet sat back on the sofa. "I didn't really love him at first. I just thought that his smirks are interesting, that the fire in his eyes is refreshing. And then, his parents died from a car accident. The fire died."

Keigo sat back across Syuusuke. He just looked at the latter and waited.

"I wanted to comfort him but I can't get too close to him because of my job as an assassin. He could be in danger. It was when an idea came into me and tried sending him a note."

For another time, Atobe was surprised. But the pieces were clicking right together. "You…were the one sending him the notes."

Syuusuke answered with a silence.

"It was you, the whole time, he was waiting for." Keigo couldn't believe that he was saying all these now to him when he actually selfishly stolen Ryoma from him.

Syuusuke shook his head and smiled rather bitterly. "He has you now. "

There was a silence, an uncomfortable one.

"Although I also want him for myself…" he finally added.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

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'**BANG!'**

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**.**

**.**

**.**

_His smiles wiped and the fire died._

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><p><em>Over almost two years? And until now, Ryoma hasn't moved on yet. Although he answered me after I persistently courted him, I know that he's still inlove with Atobe. Painful? Of course! How do you think it would feel to have him yours but still his heart is others?<em>

"Ryo-chan!" Syuusuke called.

Echizen went to the dining room and smiled lightly. "Oh, so when did you learn to cook, huh?"

"Haven't I told you that I'm a great chef?"

"Here you go again. Brag when you've beaten my dishes!"

Syuusuke smirked. "Don't regret it. I'll beat them and your dishes will cry!"

"Whatever! By the way, Syuusuke?"

"Hm?"

"Uhm…tomorrow."

_Oh, right. Tomorrow. Is his second year death anniversary._ Syuusuke smiled. "You can do whatever you want tomorrow."

"Really? It's alright with you?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you!"

"As long as it is you."

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><p><em>I can't keep my eyes off him so I secretly followed him that day. There, I saw <em>_**Kirihara Akaya**__—another person whose life would certainly be ruined, too, if he were to know the truth behind Keigo's death._

Kirihara was already standing in front of the grave when Echizen arrived.

"Akaya."

Kirihara smiled. "How are you, Ryo-chan?"

"Told you to stop calling me that." Ryoma took a deep breath. "Just fine. Syuusuke is taking care of me very well."

"He really loves you, huh?"

Echizen nodded lightly before putting the bouquet of flowers on top of the cold stone. "That's why I kinda feel guilty. How about you and Yukimura-sempai?"

"Still good."

"Oh…I never thought at first that you could last this long."

"I never thought, too," Kirihara chuckled. "But we're unexpectedly doing great."

"Good for you!" Echizen turned solemn. "How about the investigation about Keigo's death?"

Kirihara smiled lightly. "Let's go to a café."

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><p>Ryoma was not in his right mind when he went home. Syuusuke welcomed him but received an agonized look instead of the usual 'I'm home'.<p>

_I'm not sure what Ryoma and Kirihara had talked about after they left the grave, but one thing is for sure, it is dead serious and it involves Atobe's death. The look he just gave me? It was as if he was telling me, 'I know you have something to do about his death, but then I don't want to believe it.' I just don't have a clue how he knew it._

Echizen headed directly to their room. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it. He sighed and glimpsed at the frame standing by the side table. It was a picture of him and Syuusuke, on their first date. Tiredly, his body slid against the door as he sat on the cold floor.

_Kirihara brushed his thumb against the lip of the cup. "We still don't know who did it. Just that it's certain that he's an assassin."_

_ Echizen looked outside. "It's been two years since he died."_

_ "And I'm almost losing hope of catching the killer."_

_Echizen's eyes were blank as he looked at Akaya. "We can still find him."_

"_But how? Assassins are meant for clean killings. There's no way they would leave evidences behind. All we just got was a black handkerchief, how are we supposed to find him with just that?"_

"_A black handkerchief with a small cactus embroidered at one corner," Echizen's eyes twitched as a memory of Syuusuke and his first meeting flashed in his mind. _Why did I suddenly remember him?_ He lightly shook his head, along with the thoughts of Syuusuke._

"_Yeah. And there were no fingerprints found because assassins wear transparent gloves when they are about to kill someone."_

_For another time, a memory of Syuusuke flashed. "Ne, Akaya, tell me, where can we buy transparent gloves?"_

"_I don't know. According to the police officer I asked, only few know about the existence of transparent gloves. And with the cases they handled before, they learned that only assassins use them. It looks like those are exclusively made just for them."_

_Echizen swallowed the lump in his throat._

_**There's no way it could be him!**_

"_Ouch…" Echizen brought his finger to his mouth and sipped the drip of blood coming out from it._

_"You okay?" Syuusuke kneeled beside him after putting the pot down. "May I see?"_

"_I'm fine. It's just a thorn of a cactus."_

"_This is why I told you to use gloves when planting!"_

"_Yeah, yeah. Sorry."_

"_It's fine. Here," Syuusuke pulled the thin transparent rubber-like gloves from his back pocket and put it in Echizen's hands._

"_It's transparent."_

_Syuusuke smirked. "Amazing, right?"_

_Echizen nodded. "It looks like I'm not wearing any gloves at all! Where did you get this?"_

_For a second, Syuusuke hesitated then he smiled. "It's a s-e-c-r-e-t!"_

"_Stingy!" Echizen grunted._

_Syuusuke just chuckled._

_**It couldn't be him…**_

"_Ne, Syuusuke. Where do you work?"_

"_Me?" Syuusuke placed his palm under his chin as his elbows rested at the dining table._

"_Yep," Echizen put the dish he cooked at the table. "You said you have been on a part-time job since we were in college."_

"_Ah, that. Yeah. But it's something I can't tell just yet now."_

"_How about describe it?"_

"_Dangerous," Syuusuke answered with a serious tone and scary eyes._

"_Stop joking."_

_Syuusuke laughed. _

"_Seriously, stop hiding things from me."_

_Syuusuke smiled. "I will tell you, someday."_

He shook his head. "I need to get a shower. These thoughts are ridiculous," he said and picked himself up when he noticed a hidden cabinet under the bed. _Just when did this have a cabinet?_

Slowly, he proceeded underneath and saw two not-so-big boxes inside. One plain red, and another plain black. He took both boxes out and blew the dusts off. What to open first?

He put the cover of the box on the floor.

_Syuusuke!_

* * *

><p>"What's the problem?" Seichii asked after he heard Kirihara's shrills while he was on the phone.<p>

"S-sei-chan…" Kirihara dropped the phone, his face showing both worry and fear.

Seichii pulled Kirihara and braced his trembling body in a safe hug. "What's wrong, Akaya?"

"R-ryo-chan, he…"

* * *

><p>Of all times, why do I have to be late on the very first day?<em> Echizen ran his way toward the school. He is supposed to deliver the message of the new freshmen for he topped the entrance examination.<em>

_He was panting heavily when he reached the back stage._

"_Late on the first day?" a voice from behind said._

_Echizen looked behind him and saw a skinny guy sitting idly at the side of the empty backstage. He was smiling with his eyes almost closed._

_Syuusuke stood up and approached the guy. He pulled something out of his pocket and wiped something from Echizen's face. The shorter guy winced at the pain._

"_You got a cut," Syuusuke plainly said._

_Echizen reached his hand to his face and felt the sticky red liquid. "Must have gotten it along the way."_

"_Here," Syuusuke offered the black handkerchief. "You can borrow it for now. But be sure to return it to me, that's only one in the world."_

How come? It's only a black handkerchief_, Echizen stared at the handkerchief._

"_How come? It's only a black handkerchief," Syuusuke said. "…you might be thinking. The hanky might ordinary, but the embroidery is one of a kind. That cactus, I made it myself."_

"_Proud, aren't you?" Echizen smirked._

_Syuusuke frowned but quickly redeemed himself. "Of course."_

_ Echizen smirked._

"_Now, go. You need to appear at the stage now."_

"_Gotta go then. Thanks, by the way!" he smiled._

"R-Ryo…" Syuusuke whispered. A sad smile in his face. "I-I'm s-sorry…"

Ryoma dropped the knife on the floor, his hands stained with blood. He fell on his knees.

"I'm sorry, Syuusuke!" he cried. "I'm sorry!"

But Syuusuke did not reply anymore. His beautiful blue eyes turning red as the pool of his own blood reflects on them.

Seichii was panting hard when he reached the place, Kirihara was behind him. His eyes bulged out on the figure now lying on the tiled floor, swimming in his own blood.

"Yukimura! Akaya! I killed him! I killed Syuusuke!" Ryoma screeched. "B-b-because he killed Keigo!"

Seichii frantically shook his head. "You got it all wrong!" He went to Fuji's side only to find no hope.

"I'm sure! I saw the black envelope, Keigo's picture inside, and his gun!" Echizen pointed the opened black box at the side.

Yukimura tried his best to keep his calm. Losing his mind and pour it on Echizen would not help at all. With thin lips, he said, "Yes, he is an assassin. The job to kill Atobe Keigo was indeed his, but he DID NOT do it!"

Ryoma shook his head. "No," he whispered in a hoarse voice.

"He could not do it because he was thinking of you. Of your happiness. He, most of all, knows how much you love Atobe, so there's no way he could kill your happiness," Seichii said, the sadness overlapping the anger.

Ryoma's eyes widened. "No way! There's no way that's possible."

"It's the truth," Seichii saw the closed red box beside the black. "Didn't you open the red box?"

". . ."

"Open it."

Echizen opened the red box and the tears nonstop flowed from his eyes. Inside were the letters and notes he replied to Syuusuke. "H-he was the one who really sent me the notes…" his lips, quivering.

"Red is the color of fire and Syuu-chan said it suits you. He has loved you eversince. Your happiness was always his priority. He even tried to save Atobe's life even though he knew that it would cost his life."

"NO! No way! Enough! I killed him! It was him that I was really waiting for and I killed him? NO WAY!"

Kirihara, too, couldn't believe it himself. He never thought about it. But there's something more important he needs to ask. "W-who killed, Keigo?"

'_**BANG!'**_

_Syuusuke's eyes bulged out._

"_Seichii! Why did you do it?" Syuusuke exclaimed at the figure hiding outside the window._

"_Eiji sent Oishi here to make sure you do this job. He would kill you if you keep Atobe alive!"_

"_But—!"_

"_No buts! There's no way I can let you die!"_

_Syuusuke turned to Keigo's body. "Sorry!"_

"_Let's go!"_

"I did," Seichii honestly stated.

"Lie!" was all Kirihara could mutter as he covered his mouth with his two palms and tears welled in his eyes.

"Akaya, I'm sorry! I never intended to keep my job from you," Seichii tried to approach him.

"Stay away!" he unintentionally yelled. His emotions taking over his sanity. He knew what he heard and he understood it but accepting it, sure thing it would be hard. "You couldn't kill my brother, could you?"

The younger guy stood frozen. It was slow, the process of taking in what his lover just said. "You're Keigo's half-brother?"

With tears, Kirihara nodded.

_Fate is tricky. It plays with people to test how fragile a human can be. And unfortunately, we became its victims this time. We tried to play the game it laid out to us, but it was too hard that we all lost it. Was it really hard? Or just that we were really weak to stand against it?_

_Is this how should things really supposed to be? What would happen if ever Seichii knew about the truth about Keigo's half-brother? And what if Ryoma decided to open the red box first before the black? Would they make a change?_

_Would Ryoma not lose the fire?_

* * *

><p><strong>AN2**: Sorry if there is still left OCness on the characters, quite hard to picture how they would normally react to such circumstances.

-iyris


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